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Post by 边 草 on Nov 30, 2022 13:43:33 GMT -5
《闺意·近试上张水部》 唐·朱庆馀 洞房昨夜停红烛， 待晓堂前拜舅姑。 妆罢低声问夫婿， 画眉深浅入时无。 Rev. 1 Red candles lit all night in bridal room The newlyweds wait for dawn to see in-law After finishing makeup, she asked in a nervous voice These rouge and powder look decent or not? Tr. biancao Note: the translation has been verified by Google as followed: 红烛在洞房里通宵点燃 新人等天亮见公婆 化完妆，她紧张地问道 胭脂粉好不好？  Rev. 2 Red candles lit all night behind the closed door The newlyweds wait for dawn to see their in-law After makeup, she asked her hubby with anxiety These rouge and powder look decent or not (1-31-2023) |
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Post by rovi297 on Nov 30, 2022 16:50:15 GMT -5
非常喜歡邊君譯文，譯得精確，有個性，太棒了！看到估狗的翻譯就聯想到了隨著AI技術不斷進步，今後再也不用人來翻譯詩詞歌賦了。
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Post by rovi297 on Nov 30, 2022 18:25:47 GMT -5
與邊君同樂一番
近试上张籍水部 - 朱庆馀
洞房昨夜停红烛，
待晓堂前拜舅姑。
妆罢低声问夫婿，
画眉深浅入时无？
A Quatrain by Zhu Qinyu
(To Mr. Zhang – the Minister for Waters ere Imperial Exams)
The red candles lit in nuptial chamber all night,
To kowtow in-laws the bride waits for the first light.
She coyly whispers after a careful makeup,
“Dear lord, my brows’ color looks perfect or too bright?”
Tr. Wangyu
(To be revised)
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Post by 边 草 on Nov 30, 2022 22:30:34 GMT -5
啊呀，多谢忘语君鼓励加美言。
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Post by 溪山 on Dec 1, 2022 1:18:12 GMT -5
臨淵羨魚， 不如退而結網。 同意忘語君，邊君譯得不錯。
忘語君譯文漂亮精緻， kow-tow, 好。
湊興。
《近试上张水部》
唐·朱庆馀
洞房昨夜停红烛，
待晓堂前拜舅姑。
妆罢低声问夫婿，
画眉深浅入时无。
To Minister Zhang on the Eve of Imperial Examination
by Zhu Qing-yu
Red candles glowed in the bridechamber last night
To greet in-laws, the bride awaited th' daylight
Painting up her face, she asked the groom softly
"Do my brushed-up brows look chic and fit me right" ?
Tr. Xishan
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Post by 特斯拉 on Dec 1, 2022 20:54:56 GMT -5
好热闹啊，让狗尾来续貂吧： 《近试上张水部》 唐·朱庆馀 洞房昨夜停红烛， 待晓堂前拜舅姑。 妆罢低声问夫婿， 画眉深浅入时无。 candlelight flickered all night around the new couple's bedside the bride cares about the in-laws’ first impressions in daylight she trimmed her eyebrow， whispered to his ear with the cosmetics, would your parents consider me all right？ |
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Post by 溪山 on Dec 1, 2022 23:12:39 GMT -5
不錯不錯, 還隔行押韻。 給小特鼓掌。
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Post by 溪山 on Dec 2, 2022 1:50:59 GMT -5
給結網人分享幾個小tricks. 1. 找同義詞。比方"曉"， 邊君用 dawn, 我開始用 first light, 要貼時發現同忘語君撞車， 於是 google "dawn synonym"， 換用daylight. 當然有時同義詞並非完全同義，還需斟酌。 daybreak break of day crack of dawn sunrise first light daylight first thing in the morning early morning cockcrow sunup 2。 如果想押韻, 查 www.rhymezone.com/我通常用 "rhymes", "lyrics and poems" 兩個選項。 "lyrics and poems" 例句很多出自名歌／詩。 當然是否押韻看個人喜好。 忘語君押韻是想體現古詩之形美， dance in chains, 高難度。 我呢，只是想防老癡。 感覺老美翻譯不怎麼講究押韻。 老美推薦的里爾克英譯最佳版本並沒有按原文押韻。 3。使用中英字典 www.ichacha.net/除此之外，多讀英文詩歌／文章等，會對語感／詞彙量有幫助。 莎翁詩忘語君肯定沒少讀。 另外，很多名詩已有人譯過，初學可做參考。最好譯過再查，否則思路容易受限制。 我現在只偶爾查，比方"近试上张水部" -- 這個怎麼譯，我拿不定。 google "近试上张水部 英文翻譯 許淵沖", 就借用了題目翻譯。 還學到了幾種說法，科舉制度 Imperial examination， 譯詞｜|中國封建官階英文翻譯 。 |
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Post by 边 草 on Dec 2, 2022 8:36:34 GMT -5
多谢分享！
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Post by 边 草 on Dec 2, 2022 8:38:36 GMT -5
好热闹啊，让狗尾来续貂吧： 《近试上张水部》 唐·朱庆馀 ....... 看起来，近朱免不了被赤！ |
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Post by 溪山 on Dec 2, 2022 14:32:14 GMT -5
譯門一入深似海。 Have fun!  我前兩日free time 全被玩翻譯佔了，譯得頭昏腦脹。這幾天暫時不譯了，忙完正事再說。 |
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