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Post by rovi297 on Aug 11, 2021 1:21:55 GMT -5
山中寓園 - 錢鍾書 1939年 箕踞長松下, 橫眠老竹根。 一枝聊可借, 三徑已無存。 故物懷喬木, 羈人賦小園。 水波風裊裊, 搖落更消魂。 A Five-Character Verse by Qian Zhongshu (Lodging in Mountain) I sit at my ease under the tall pine, Against old roots of bamboos, I catnap. The tree has become the shelter of mine, As my garden fallen in a vile trap. My small garden lost, those trees void of bliss, For which I compose a poem to pray. When fall wind ripples the rills with a hiss, Autumn leaves bespeaks my skies turn gray. Tr. Wangyu
錢的詩不好讀,似乎比某些古詩複雜,呵呵呵,期待各位給出錢老句子中典故的解讀和對英譯版的批評!
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Post by 溪山 on Aug 11, 2021 2:01:00 GMT -5
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Post by Immanuel on Aug 11, 2021 15:40:46 GMT -5
此诗多用典故。有”江西之病”。开玩笑。
乔木:孟子见梁惠王下:“所谓故国者,非谓有乔木之谓也,有世臣之谓也。”
三徑:陶渊明《归去来兮赋》:“三径就荒,松菊犹存。”
没有时间,小记。
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Post by Immanuel on Aug 11, 2021 15:47:05 GMT -5
又松竹鹤,称三清友。清闲幽处之上居。
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 11, 2021 18:26:50 GMT -5
查看過,有些幫助,但錢的詩用典過多,無法對應翻譯,呵呵呵,只能是文字遊戲而已。錢自己英漢語過人尚且從不翻譯他自己的詩,別人又有何能完美譯出他的詩意呢?謝謝溪山君鼓勵與幫助!
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 11, 2021 18:32:22 GMT -5
此诗多用典故。有”江西之病”。开玩笑。 乔木:孟子见梁惠王下:“所谓故国者,非谓有乔木之谓也,有世臣之谓也。” 三徑:陶渊明《归去来兮赋》:“三径就荒,松菊犹存。” 没有时间,小记。 謝謝以馬君!以馬君也是博聞強記,滿腹經綸,英文也是頂級。佩服!
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 11, 2021 18:33:19 GMT -5
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 11, 2021 19:50:14 GMT -5
再次修改了一下
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Post by 溪山 on Aug 12, 2021 1:07:23 GMT -5
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 12, 2021 3:18:25 GMT -5
A Lodge in the Mountain
By QIAN Zhongshu
Tr. ZHAO Yanchun
Neath the tall pine I sit on knees,
Or by the bamboo root I snore.
A twig I can still beg to hold,
But the three paths exist no more.
The old woods oft occur to me;
To the small park I write a verse.
A zephyr blows out of the waves,
As does sway and my cares disperse.
原文網址:https://kknews.cc/culture/a2orynx.html
各位看看這位大陸的英文二級教授的英譯如何呢?
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Post by Immanuel on Aug 12, 2021 9:08:25 GMT -5
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Post by Immanuel on Aug 12, 2021 10:15:24 GMT -5
继续抄书:
《和魏仆射还乡》 张说
富贵还乡国,光华满旧林。秋风树不静,君子叹何深。 故老空悬剑,邻交日散金。众芳摇落尽,独有岁寒心。
《大歷二年九月三十日》 杜甫
為客無時了,悲秋向夕終。 瘴餘夔子國,霜薄楚王宮。 草敵虛嵐翠,花禁冷葉紅。 年年小搖落,不與故園同。
林逋的《山园小梅二首》
众芳摇落独暄妍,占尽风情向小园。 疏影横斜水清浅,暗香浮动月黄昏。 霜禽欲下先偷眼,粉蝶如知合断魂。 幸有微吟可相狎,不须檀板共金樽。
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Post by Immanuel on Aug 12, 2021 10:42:42 GMT -5
多谢溪姐的链接。解得好!
忘君,反复斟酌后, 觉得“三徑已無存。故物懷喬木”应当是诗人关心家园遭日军入侵后境况。
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 12, 2021 18:59:53 GMT -5
多谢溪姐的链接。解得好! 忘君,反复斟酌后, 觉得“三徑已無存。故物懷喬木”应当是诗人关心家园遭日军入侵后境况。 謝謝以馬君!對的,應該是這個含義。但如果按趙教授的按字面意思來翻譯,讀者會一頭霧水。以馬君認為如何?
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Post by Immanuel on Aug 12, 2021 19:58:07 GMT -5
多谢溪姐的链接。解得好! 忘君,反复斟酌后, 觉得“三徑已無存。故物懷喬木”应当是诗人关心家园遭日军入侵后境况。 謝謝以馬君!對的,應該是這個含義。但如果按趙教授的按字面意思來翻譯,讀者會一頭霧水。以馬君認為如何? I didn’t read his version nor the better part of the linked commentary when I replied. I felt I am not adequately equipped to judge the English of his rendition per your request. But his understandings are obviously off in many cases. For example: “As does sway and my cares disperse.” Here, nothing is mentioned about the trees or flowers fading away in Autumn which is the conventional meaning of “摇落”. “As does sway…” ? Sounds a bit awkward to me. What does sway? Not so sure. “My cares disperse?” To the contrary, the saddening scene of Autumn rather stirred up and conjured together the poet’s nostalgia and concerns of home, nation and beloved ones. They just started..
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Post by Immanuel on Aug 12, 2021 20:06:01 GMT -5
My point is that the gentleman did not “ 按字面意思來翻譯”. Always feel bad to offer negative criticism. Hope I don’t sound harsh or mean-spirited..
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 12, 2021 22:00:16 GMT -5
搖落 一般理解就是 秋葉。顯然,趙對 一枝聊可借,三徑已無存,不(太)明白,他也不做研究,直接按字面 一枝 / 三徑 處理為 a twig / three paths,估計讀者無法明白。
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Post by Immanuel on Aug 13, 2021 0:12:43 GMT -5
此事恐怕不敢责备于吾辈读者。
以前读过钱先生的《槐聚诗存》。觉得不具古诗文基础的读者,恐怕难能通透。本人也是走马观花,只在皮毛,未得神骨。
钱氏读诗,有刨心析骨之说, 每有妙思灵悟。然而有时其解诗亦有臆度附会处。
日有辟瑕,月每亏缺。小积江河,总成瀚波。飞云无根,时雨不多。契尔君子,慧通和乐。
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 13, 2021 17:41:03 GMT -5
此事恐怕不敢责备于吾辈读者。 以前读过钱先生的《槐聚诗存》。觉得不具古诗文基础的读者,恐怕难能通透。本人也是走马观花,只在皮毛,未得神骨。 钱氏读诗,有刨心析骨之说, 每有妙思灵悟。然而有时其解诗亦有臆度附会处。 日有辟瑕,月每亏缺。小积江河,总成瀚波。飞云无根,时雨不多。契尔君子,慧通和乐。 日有辟瑕,月每亏缺。小积江河,总成瀚波。飞云无根,时雨不多。契尔君子,慧通和乐。--- Well Said!
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 17, 2021 20:21:04 GMT -5
山中寓園 - 錢鍾書 1939年
箕踞長松下,橫眠老竹根。
一枝聊可借,三徑已無存。
故物懷喬木,羈人賦小園。
水波風裊裊,搖落更消魂。
A Five-Character Verse by Qian Zhongshu
(Lodging in Mountain)
I sit at my ease under the tall pine,
Against old roots of bamboos, I catnap.
The tree has become the shelter of mine,
As my garden fallen in a vile trap.
The lost garden, tho’ small, is my trees’ shrine,
For which I verse - it suffers its mishap.
When fall wind blows the rills with a cold shrill,
The trees shed their leaves like tears sad and chill.
Tr. Wangyu
(V2)
再譯一版。 仿學拜倫的長詩《唐璜》的韻譜。
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Post by 溪山 on Aug 18, 2021 1:12:25 GMT -5
忘語君實在是用心啊。讚! 『世上無難事,只怕有心人』,然也。 我比較喜歡第二版。忘語君厲害。
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Post by 溪山 on Aug 18, 2021 1:13:55 GMT -5
文弟國文功底深厚,再次見識。多謝分享!
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Post by rovi297 on Aug 18, 2021 2:31:24 GMT -5
忘語君實在是用心啊。讚! 『世上無難事,只怕有心人』,然也。 我比較喜歡第二版。忘語君厲害。 謝謝溪山君鼓勵。更要謝謝以君和你的啟發和提供各種資料來幫助我理解錢老的詩。
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